There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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