She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
