this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
why is half of my head shaved?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
