Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
