How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
