if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
