There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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