now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
