i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
