Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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