i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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