life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
