You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It's just like the Real World with babies
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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