Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
