Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
