you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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