Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
