He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
