quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Floor bacon is actually really good
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
