New invention idea: vibrating tampons
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
