u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
