I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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