Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
