you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
