i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
