no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
hotel room ftw
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
