I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
