Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
