Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
he laminated a picture of his dick.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
