So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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