Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
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