It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
