hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
