be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
