See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
