pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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