it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
the liver wants what the liver wants
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
