If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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