Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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