If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
