12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
