Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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