i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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