I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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