I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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