We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
