i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
They have beer where we have blood.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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