All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
