there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
