i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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