Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
