i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
