He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
