I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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